test
Trying out a new plugin to post from my cellphone. I definitely need to get back into regular posting and being able to post on the go will be helpful!
Back and Hanging My Head
Well since my last update in January I have managed to gain 5 pounds and it has scared me enough to get me back on track. So I did my last binge last night (I have no idea why I even did it) but now I have to get serious again. I may have lost 90 pounds so far but I still have 200 pounds to lose and I have to keep going. Being an insulin dependent diabetic should make me sit up and realize that I can’t keep doing what I have been doing (going backwards instead of forwards) and yet I had to shake myself when my blood sugars started to get out of control again the past few weeks even with insulin. I have now had to increase my insulin at night by 10 units and that scared me. I am back focused on that as well, checking blood sugars on regular basis and hoping that it’s just a temporary blip for me and that I can get it back down and under better control.
I did join a new gym which I am looking forward to getting to – I just need to start to make “me” time again and sticking to it. I cancelled my old gym membership last yesterday and my new gym has given me 30 days free. I have now belonged to new gym one week and still have yet to walk in the door. My goal is to start with three days a week and see what happens. I really felt good going to the gym and want that feeling again! I also need to look at why I am binge and secret eating again; it hasn’t happened often but over the past month I would say at least 5 times and in my mind that’s 5 times too many. I have been letting some stress from work get to me and I have to find a better way than stopping at Harveys for a burger and fries on the way home from work. I guess I could beat my self up for hours about this but really just need to put it behind me and move forward from this point on.
The funny part is I feel good and I think that I fell into the “phase” of feeling good and thinking that I shouldn’t really worry about losing more weight. That is until I catch a side view of myself in the mirror; and hten I realize that I still have a long way to go. But that’s ok because I know that I can do thisiii ibecause I have come this far and plan onseeing this through to the end.
Staying warm and an update
Staying warm
Originally uploaded by Sueellen
It definitely has been a few days between entries. I have the best of intentions of putting my thoughts down here and then something distracts me. Lately it has been sleep and a cold that is keeping me from being on the computer much. I have so much going through my head that I want to get down and yet don’t even know where to begin. So I think I will do it all in bullet point and elaborate later.
- I met with my doctor and she has taken me off Paxil (which had totally stopped working) and I am now taking Effexor SR. After a couple of days I have definitely noticed a difference. I am back to sleeping through the night, I am not feeling so sad and down and I am able to concentrate at work.
- While at the doctor’s she also recommended that I get a book called Mind Over Mood and I am really glad that I did. It is a workbook that helps to identify what is going on when certain emotions and feelings happen. I would defintiely recommend this book to all.
- After spending a weekend of trying to save my m-i-l’s dying cat we had to put him down last Friday. Needless to say she was a wreck and hubby and I quickly noticed a rapid downward spiral with her. We took her to the vet on Monday night as they have kittens available for adoption and she found one that she fell in love with. The difference in her is like night and day.
- I am trying to learn to be more honest at work and say no when I need to. The problems that happened after Christmas were my fault in that I thought I could do it all and that failed. It is hard for me to say no and I honestly have to make a conscious effort to not feel guilty. Now I just need to know why I can’t say no and feel I have to please everyone all of the time (even to my own detriment).
- I haven’t been to the gym in over a month and am definitely missing the workouts. What I am not missing is the irritating new trainer. She is a sweet girl but she is just too chipper and happy for me. She has no idea what my struggles are and she just tries to push me a little too hard. I have decided to start back at the gym but am putting a hold on my personal training hours until I find a trainer I am more comfortable with. I am sure that there are many that love her but ever since I lost the trainer I had for 7 months I am just not able to connect with anyone else.
- In the weightloss department I have been a bit up and down but basically stayed the same over the holidays. I am really struggling with not eating out of emotion right now and am trying to really focus on that. Unfortunately the night before my last weigh in on Saturday I gorged on 4 slices of Pizza Hut pizza which is loaded with sodium! Needless to say I deserved the 6.2 pounds I gained at that weigh in. I am relieved though that when I got on the scale this morning I was back down the 6.2 plus an extra 1.4 pounds! I have also been horrible at my water intake (I just forget to drink water all day) and I need to break that habit quickly!
I have more to write but am finished lunch at work so need to get back to work!
Still Here
Posted by mobile phone:
I am still around, it has just been a crazy week. Stayed the same this week at weigh in and wasn\’t surprised and thrilled that I didn\’t have a gain. Still steuggling with emotional eating and really need to conquer it and I will do it!I start workouts with my trainer at home on Tuesday and that is going to help get me back in the groove again plus I did not get to the gym at all last week. No more excuses-I am getting back on track this week!