Trying To Lose

Staying warm

Originally uploaded by Sueellen

It definitely has been a few days between entries. I have the best of intentions of putting my thoughts down here and then something distracts me. Lately it has been sleep and a cold that is keeping me from being on the computer much. I have so much going through my head that I want to get down and yet don’t even know where to begin. So I think I will do it all in bullet point and elaborate later.

- I met with my doctor and she has taken me off Paxil (which had totally stopped working) and I am now taking Effexor SR. After a couple of days I have definitely noticed a difference. I am back to sleeping through the night, I am not feeling so sad and down and I am able to concentrate at work.

- While at the doctor’s she also recommended that I get a book called Mind Over Mood and I am really glad that I did. It is a workbook that helps to identify what is going on when certain emotions and feelings happen. I would defintiely recommend this book to all.

- After spending a weekend of trying to save my m-i-l’s dying cat we had to put him down last Friday. Needless to say she was a wreck and hubby and I quickly noticed a rapid downward spiral with her. We took her to the vet on Monday night as they have kittens available for adoption and she found one that she fell in love with. The difference in her is like night and day.

- I am trying to learn to be more honest at work and say no when I need to. The problems that happened after Christmas were my fault in that I thought I could do it all and that failed. It is hard for me to say no and I honestly have to make a conscious effort to not feel guilty. Now I just need to know why I can’t say no and feel I have to please everyone all of the time (even to my own detriment).

- I haven’t been to the gym in over a month and am definitely missing the workouts. What I am not missing is the irritating new trainer. She is a sweet girl but she is just too chipper and happy for me. She has no idea what my struggles are and she just tries to push me a little too hard. I have decided to start back at the gym but am putting a hold on my personal training hours until I find a trainer I am more comfortable with. I am sure that there are many that love her but ever since I lost the trainer I had for 7 months I am just not able to connect with anyone else.

- In the weightloss department I have been a bit up and down but basically stayed the same over the holidays. I am really struggling with not eating out of emotion right now and am trying to really focus on that. Unfortunately the night before my last weigh in on Saturday I gorged on 4 slices of Pizza Hut pizza which is loaded with sodium! Needless to say I deserved the 6.2 pounds I gained at that weigh in. I am relieved though that when I got on the scale this morning I was back down the 6.2 plus an extra 1.4 pounds! I have also been horrible at my water intake (I just forget to drink water all day) and I need to break that habit quickly!

I have more to write but am finished lunch at work so need to get back to work!