Trying To Lose

Well since my last update in January I have managed to gain 5 pounds and it has scared me enough to get me back on track.   So I did my last binge last night (I have no idea why I even did it) but now I have to get serious again.  I may have lost 90 pounds so far but I still have 200 pounds to lose and I have to keep going. Being an insulin dependent diabetic should make me sit up and realize that I can’t keep doing what I have been doing (going backwards instead of forwards) and yet I had to shake myself when my blood sugars started to get out of control again the past few weeks even with insulin. I have now had to increase my insulin at night by 10 units and that scared me. I am back focused on that as well, checking blood sugars on regular basis and hoping that it’s just a temporary blip for me and that I can get it back down and under better control.

I did join a new gym which I am looking forward to getting to – I just need to start to make “me” time again and sticking to it.  I cancelled my old gym membership last yesterday and my new gym has given me 30 days free.  I have now belonged to new gym one week and still have yet to walk in the door.  My goal is to start with three days a week and see what happens.  I really felt good going to the gym and want that feeling again!  I also need to look at why I am binge and secret eating again; it hasn’t happened often but over the past month I would say at least 5 times and in my mind that’s 5 times too many. I have been letting some stress from work get to me and I have to find a better way than stopping at Harveys for a burger and fries on the way home from work. I guess I could beat my self up for hours about this but really just need to put it behind me and move forward from this point on.

The funny part is I feel good and I think that I fell into the “phase” of feeling good and thinking that I shouldn’t really worry about losing more weight.  That is until I catch a side view of myself in the mirror; and hten I realize that I still have a long way to go.  But that’s ok because I know that I can do thisiii ibecause I have come this far and plan onseeing this through to the end.